Fighting to be like EVERYONE else....

Such a stupid statement for a woman of my age really. Haven't I learned that is great to be who you are?? Embrace your uniqueness? You know all of those things I teach my daughters.... LOVE WHO YOU ARE and how the Lord made you.

I have a hard time practicing what I preach. Sorry.

I am struggling today. Today I realized I really DO want to know what this baby is. Clint doesn't. He and his family all think that it would be SO neat if we could wait and be surprised in the delivery room. As do I. However, it's like I have been lying to myself telling myself and others "Oh yeah, we're not finding out.... I don't mind, I'm not even that curious."

What Am I Talking about?!?!? That's not me!! That's Clint. Of course I am dying to know and I actually feel like it will help me EMBRACE the whole concept of this pregnancy all together to know what we've created this time around.

BUT I love Clint... and I love that he is passionate about having a surprise in the delivery room. I LOVE that he is so much more laid back than me and can chill me out in any situation. I don't know though. I might just need to keep my own secret about it. That's acceptable, right?

Second argument.

I am being BOMBARDED with those tacky comments you get as soon as someone realizes you are "with child". I mean it has been unbelieveable. Literally on a nightly basis at work, or at the store

"Are there two in there?!?"

"What do you have a watermelon in there?"

"You need to go up a size in your scrub top."

"Are you due like next month?"

And the ever loving... "Don't you know how this happens?!" --

No actually I don't could you explain please..... Stupid!

I've been wishing lately that I looked differently, That my belly was not as round as it is, that I was bigger in my thighs and samll in the waist so I wouldnt show as fast. I've come up with all sorts of ideas as to why I am so BIG?? Everytime I try to convince myself that the # on the scale is OKAY and I will survive when it continues to go up, someone has to open there stupid mouth. I mean really! Who raised these people??? Didn't you get the memo that you never make a comment to a newly pregnant woman EVER.....

Whew! Sorry.... let me cool down!

Anyways, for today I am working on being content being ME - who I am and being proud of it. Fake it til I make it... Fake it til I make it.... I'm Close!!!!!

Goodnight Friends :)