Well this is the internal battle I have been fighting this weekend. Is being a Stay Home Mom a Luxury or sacrifice? Well growing up in Mesa Town, it always seemed the Moms who stayed home had it as a Luxury-- went shopping, got their nails done, cleaned their house when the cleaning lady couldn't get their. I don't know... I'm not trashing, but you know what I mean, right?? Well now being a Stay at home Mom-- clearly I am a lot younger than my friend's Moms growing up, but nonetheless I am realizing it is a HUGE sacrifice. Clint has a great job that we both feel so lucky and blessed for him to have, he makes a good salary, and we have great Benefits. It all seems like it would be enough and it is, but its like When will the Struggling years be Over??? Well, never if I am always a SAHM. Day by Day I realize the sacrifice as we are budgeting and trying to make it all work, trying to pay for our little gals to dance, trying to save a little, trying to pay some to tithing, TRYING TRYING TRYING!! It is so frustrating. And every time we do get ahead, something crazy happens, like when we had to spend close to 1000 on the Suburban, or Clint contracts freakin cellultits and now we have ER bills and medicine bills and all the above. Enough complaining... I will say, every minute of it is worth it. My kids are my whole world and they are thriving for reasons I know have to do with me being here for them all the time. So in that aspect I do see it as a Luxury that we can make ends meet with Clints job alone. And believe Me I am not being Ungrateful for what I have... I know there are some people who have NO choice in the matter and HAVE to leave their babies. I know I know I know.
So this is the conflict inside my head. What to do when Kylie is about 6 months? Do I try working again? Do we tough it out and have me stay home until all 3 are in school? What about Daycare... it is so expensive, it doesn't even seem worth it to work. Maybe I can find a 3-11 shift somewhere a couple days a week at a Nursing home or something, so then Clint can be there for the girls. Hmmmmmm. Can you tell I am a hormonal Mess?!?!?!?!? I would die to be feeling Human again- 6 weeks!
Thanks for listening to me Vent. Any opinions, ideas, suggestions???
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
.jpg)
12 comments:
Staying at home wasn't always easy for sure, but I just couldn't bear to think that someone else would get to see the cute things my kids would do before me. Plus they wouldn't appreciate them like I did either. It's not for everyone, but I did home childcare for 14 years that helped a lot with the "extras" my kids got to do like sports and dance, etc. I only took kids whose moms worked part time so it was only part time for me too, usually three days a week. That way I still had some days with just my own kids. I had a lot of teachers kids too, so often my summers were free. My kids loved having "friends" around. And I made money while still being able to keep up with some home necessities like laundry, etc. When my youngest went into first grade I went to work part time as a preschool teacher. (I love little ones!) I never regretted being a SAHM. It is well worth the effort! Hang in there in these last few weeks of being prego!
this is just how i feel. . . although it may seem nice to have the nicer things in life and have someone else clean your house or go get your nails done or drive the nicest car. . .it is just worldy stuff. it doesnt matter.you are not alone, we are all here trying to pay bills each month and wondering when we will get that thing we have been saving for or like when i went to the ER for my hand foot and mouth my med. bills were over $1000 and i just cried every time i got the mail as i was recieving those bills so you are not alone we are in the same boat, younge new families with little kids and not a lot of extra money but for me when elizabeth wakes up in the morning with her bed head and we get to eat breakfast to sesamie street nothing is better and i dont care what car is in the driveway or how much is in savings. not to mention if you worked an afternoon shift and clint was with the kids you have to think what a long day that is for him or how much time you are taking away from the whole family being together just so you have nicer things.just not worth it to me. more money more problems right?? hope this helped?
p.s. i think the home daycare is a good idea. i did that for a while and it worked out really well, it was just two days a week but gave me a little spending money.
I agree with the other two girls! I know we always struggle with this, but I don't think it would be worth it at all for you to go work somewhere, I think you would hate it! And I don't even think it would be worth it cause can you imagine what daycare for 3 kids would cost??!! And you would miss your girls like crazy! The homedaycare thing is a good idea too if it was only a couple days a week or something! And we all just need to start planning girls nights more often so we get a break and a chance to vent and relax! And if you worked nights, you would miss Clint!
Call on day care costs and you will have your answer :) Especially with 3 little ones! I think it's hard to remember how lucky you are one it's taking care of everyone and everything day in and day out. I would love to be able to stay home though! Not making you feel guilty, just as someone from the other side staying home with your kids truly is a blessing! Maybe look into the home day care and just keep one or two kids? or maybe just after school? extras and extra money are always nice!
Aly, I did'nt know you are going to name your girl Kylie! How exciting! I feel like a really bad friend, I feel like I didn't even know it was a girl. I haven't been too good on blogging lately, but I'm gonna have to change that. I love reading your blog because it's always honest & relateable for sure! You always have something interesting to say. I sure love my Aly! Anyway, I'm so excited to meet little kylie! And I hope sometime soon I'll be able to give you some advice about being a stay at home Mom :) Miss you!
Al,
I think it is such a blessing to be able to get to stay at home with the kids. I think that's the way God intended it to be. I remember growing up and my parents were always at work. I pretty much lived at my babysitter's house. When my mom finally had us for the weekend's it was like she still wasn't there because she was cleaning house or getting caught up on things she didn't have time for during the week. Kids need their mom's. No material thing could ever come close to the value of having a mother 24/7 to raise her kids and teach about life. You could get a part time job somewhere but you will wind up missing your babies as soon as you do. I think waiting until all three of them are in school is a good idea. And if you do get a job, keep it part time. Enjoy your babies, pretty soon they will be all grown up. Love you Al...
Well, I don't have any clear cut answers for you... I have to say working part-time is really a nice thing sometimes. It gets you out of the house, make some extra money and gets you so dang excited to come home to see your family! I didn't think I would like it this much. But now I'm trying to decide how to stay at home so we can have more kids because like you said babysitters are just way too expensive. I do think I will miss working a little though. I think you should just focus on your little one coming for now. You have no idea what the future will bring. Then when Kylie is 6 months start thinking about it and throw around senarios. There is nothing you could really do right now anyways. I don't think there will ever be a time when money is not an issue. The more money you make, the more you buy and the more bills you owe...I just think it's an endless cycle. Money is the root of all evil!!! :) Enjoy life, your hubby and your little girls. It won't last forever!
I couldn't agree more with what everyone else has said.
I have always been a SAHM. I have tried the whole daycare thing as well. I did it for 2 years out of my house and went CRAZY. You still feel as if you are stuck in the house! I couldn't take my kids to the doctor or go run a quick errand...Those are things to think about if that is the route you choose.
Right now, I work for a wedding film company (myweddingfilm.com). I work 1-2 Saturdays a month and love it! It gets me out of the house and into the "real" world. I don't really do it for the extra money but to just get out and feel like a human and have adult conversations.
Sending kids to daycare is just so expensive-- it makes working not worth it. You can never get ahead!
I hope you can figure out what works for you and your cute family! Don't stress!
It looks like you've gotten some great advice. I don't really have anything to say that everyone else hasn't said yet.
I do think working part time is a good option if you can find something that works for you, but then there's the whole day care thing!! I like being able to have a little time to do my own thing, something I feel good at, and then like Ashley said, I'm always excited to get home to see my fam! But working part time doesn't really do anything for the $$ issue, at least not for us, because anything I am qualified for or would want to do doesn't pay too much! It's more of just a sanity thing! :)
I think that taking it easy for now and enjoying your girls is great advice and then maybe when Kylie is around 6 months try rethinking your situation and see how you feel.
I agree with Ash that it seems like money is always an issue and probably always will be. I think it's just about making a decision and realizing that what you're doing is what's best for your family, whether is be working or SAHM.
I always try to remind myself that I will never look back and think, "MAN, I WISH I WORKED MORE!" But I'm sure I will always look back and wish i spent more time with my kids!
I know you'll make the right decision, whatever that is!
Oh Aly, I totally understand. I have been thinking about this lately because I am graduating this summer and I always pictured myself as a career woman. I thought maybe I would work a few days a week because the twins start kindergarten next year, but then I realized I would miss T way too much. He is at the best age and he makes me so happy. It would be nice to make the extra money, but I love just chillin at home hangin with the kiddos. I decided that once I am done with school, I will do more real estate. It is a great way to make good money but I can do it on my time and my schedule so I don't feel like I am taking time away from my kids. My sanity time is the gym and my kids love playing in the daycare.
P.S. Lets do a play date next week
oh my goodness, i cannot tell you how many times I have thought that!! In fact, I was just talking to my hubby about it last night. But in the end its not worth it cause day care is so freakin expensive. And I would feel guilty leaving the kids and sad if I missed them doing anything new or cute. But I know what ya mean. Its can be hard.
Post a Comment